A Dramatic Awakening. Err...An Awakening to Drama Maybe?

I'd like to talk about something that I didn't realize needed talking about. That's a strange way to start an article, isn't it?

I must confess, I've indulged in a few party favours in the last three hours, and they're putting me in a most vulnerable headspace.

I want to talk about something that wasn't even on my radar as something that could be talked about. Mostly because I didn't recognize it as a concept. I was ignorant. I've been trying with everything I have to write a novel for about four years. A real chunker, you know? Something that'll make your wrists hurt.

I've always been the creative type. And, if I may toot my own horn, I've got a little skill in the area of wordsmithing. Not a lot, but some. The problem is, every time I try to sit down and write a long form story, I hit a stick point.

I've hit this stick point countless times. I haven't been able to define what actually happens. I will try my best right now, though. The process goes like this: I conjure an entire story from beginning to end in my mind. The characters are real to me. The setting, too. The dramatic progression. All of it, Then, when I try to write it out, it dissolves. It literally dissolves. I inevitably reach a point where no matter what it is I am imagining, I can't find the words to accurately convey what my mind has incepted.

So today I confess that I have been living in a form of ignorance. I forgive myself for it because ignorance is ignorance. You cannot know what you don't know, right? Up antil this point, I have been all but missing what I have come to believe

is the central energy driving my personal creative process: emotion.

I first had the thought while watching a

high fantasy film with my partner. We've seen it about a hundred times. I'm not sure why the revelation chose that particular scenario to free itself from darkness, but it did. I had seen the movie so much that I could recite the script as we watched it. But on this particular occasion,  something hit me differently. Not only

was I mouthing the words of the scene, I was feeling the feelings of it. Actually feeling them.

Dangerous territory. I know. I say this is dangerous mainly because I've always had a distaste for emotional manipulation. I hate the idea of having my feelings messed with on purpose. But I guess that's the point of a good drama, isn't it? 

So anyway, I felt these feelings along with the actor and asked myself, "Am I being manipulated right now ?"

In my gut, I felt like the answer to that question was, ”No.” Well written, but just a movie. So what is happening then? Why am I feeling actual emotions while watching this scene that I've seen a hundred times? Then it occurred to me, that maybe this is a me thing. I've talked to many people about various pieces of dramatic work and have never got the impression that they really felt it.

If it is me, why am I experiencing it so differently than everyone else?

Then it hit me. Like a bullet.

The one part of my imagination I've never conceptualized is the emotional part. Now I don't mean emotions elicited by external stimuli. I mean that I can sit down for hours on end and feel. There's structure to it. It's a language unto itself. When I digest dramatic fiction, it's the part of me that allows for the roller coaster I've come to love.

When I create stories, the feelings involved are as much a part of the story as the visual and other sensory components.

I'm a dramatic writer. There. I said it. Drama is about feeling and emotion. I can think and imagine in that language.

It's a hard one to swallow, but it's true. When I imagine a story, the feelings come first. The visuals and action come second. It's a hell of a thing for an aspiring author to figure out.

Until next time.